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need some help in english texting

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Phatzo, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. Phatzo

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    Hello everybody,

    I am renovating my homepage (www.phat.hu) and translating my hungarian text into english. although I am fluent and able to translate fairly well I do would like to get some native english help with word use and general texting so my intro does not sound "bad" or false.
    could someone that is good in texting and writing help me with what I have translated and advise me what to change or rewrite so I can learn to do better next time if needed. I will copy my already translated text here which can be corrected and pasted back here or sent to me via pm or e-mail. my address is: mod@phat.hu

    any help or professional help would be greatly appreciated.
    thank you.

    now here is what I have finished so far. I will include the hungarian text as reference although google translate is not so good at this job but I think I could get a decent result out of it.

    Main page/Főoldal:
    PHAT AIR

    LÉGBŐL KAPOTT MEGOLDÁSOK...

    The P.H.A.T Air solution for your aerial task...

    Rólunk (videók) / about us (video)

    A Phat Entertainment Kft. professzionális eszközökkel, magas fokú szakértelemmel, csúcsminőségű felvételeket alkot...

    A saját gyártású és folyamatosan fejlesztett hexa-, oktokopter, illetve az újonnan beszerzett DJI Inspire 1 lehetőséget ad arra, hogy a költséges helikopter, Kran, vagy egyéb eszköz igénybevétele helyett, finoman manőverezhető eszközzel stabil, magas színvonalú, filmekhez, TV produkcióhoz, klipekhez, reklám anyaghoz megfelelő minőségű felvételek készülhessenek.

    Ezeket biztosítja a kamera rendszer, amin nem csak a repülés, de az előkészítéshez és feldolgozáshoz szükséges mozgó képsorokat is folyamatosan láthatja az operatőr és azonnal döntést is hozhat a képsorok további kivitelezéséről. Mindehhez nem kell megvárni az anyag letöltését, a felesleges újra forgatást megszünteti. A multikoptereink egyedisége az, hogy olyan helyeket is megközelítünk vele, amit más eszközzel nem, vagy csak nehezen lehet ill engedélyhez kötött.

    Gyors, rezgésmentes, finommozgásokra képes vertikálisan és horizontálisan működő rendszerünk az operatőrnek folyamatosan mozgóképet szolgáltat, ezzel hatékonyan oldja meg nem csak a repülési feladatokat, hanem a kívánt képű tartalmi és minőségi követelményeit, ami azonnal látható. A mozgásoktól függetlenítve a fókuszált kép folyamatosan és rezgésmentesen stabil marad. A magas szintű repülést, pilótánk Dömény Martin, míg a minőségi mozgó képek vágását és komponálását operatőrünk garantálja.


    The Phat Entertainment Ltd. uses Professional tools, a high level of expertise to create high-quality recordings .

    The self-produced and constantly developed hex, oktokopter and the DJI Inspire 1 gives the opportunity to replace the use of costly helicopters, Kranes, or other devices. High-quality movies, TV productions, clips, corresponding advertising material is made from quality images.

    We are providing a camera system, which can not only fly, but also make motion pictures and still images which almost eliminate the ned for preparation and processing as our camera operator can immediately see the live viedo feed from the aircraft and take the apropriate additional sequences if needed. The raw material is easy to access and downloadable. The multicopter is unique because it can approach places where other aircrafts are not allowed or can not fly due to their size.

    Fast, vibration-free, fine movements, capable of operating in both vertically and horizontal direction the Cinematographer system provides continuous moving image, thereby effectively solve not only the flying duties, but also see the desired content and quality requirements, which can be seen immediately. The movements independent of the craft with the focused image remains constantly stable and vibration free. The high-level flight is provided by pilot Martin, while post process of the motion picture or still images are taken care of by our professional team.

    A stáb / the staff
    A PHAT AIR CSAPAT TAGJA: Martin

    PILÓTA

    A HIVATÁSÁT TELJES ENERGIÁVAL SZOLGÁLJA

    REMEK VEZETÉSI STÍLUSÁVAL, BIZTOS KÉZZEL IRÁNYÍTJA ESZKÖZEINKET...


    the passion for R/C started in Martin’s early days and since has not left his mind. Organizing Hiphop concerts with his borther in the early 2000 years along with some side project like introducing „Sign Spinning” or bringing the ”The Umbilical Brothers” to Hungary he evolved to a media specialist regarding equiptment for recording audio and video. Eventually multirotors came in to the picture and he soon started to a feel for flying and using the „flying” camera. Since then his company custom built an octocopter, a hexacopeter and bought the Inspire 1. Capable of delivering the quality demanded from his costumers, thinking out of the box our pilot is tackleing every challange to make the best possible.


    10 éves koromban kezdődött az R/C (rádió vezérelt) eszközök iránti szenvedély. Az első „nekifutás” egy robbanó motoros kocsival kezdődött, aminek élményét a mai napig magamban hordok, és aminek a szeretetét a mai kor technikai követelményeinek megfelelő eszközökbe ültettek át mindmáig. Ez a kapcsolódás számomra örök. Több eszközt kipróbálva jutottam el három ével ezelőtt arra a szintre, hogy képes legyek megbízhatóan irányítani a Multirotor világában megtalálható eszközöket is. Amellett, hogy megépítettem és tovább fejlesztettem két darab Drone-t, alkalmam volt gyakorolni, aminek eredménye képen már biztos kézzel készítek légi felvételeket mind Octocopter, Hexacopter és Inspire 1 típusú „repülőkkel” . Szeretem és élvezem a kihívásokat, amelyekből minden alkalommal a legjobbat hozom ki a szituációktól függetlenül.
     
  2. SanCap

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    Hey Phatzo, my grandparents came from Hungry with a last name of Szabo. I think it translates in US to Taylor. I am not a good writer or editor but I can read. You have so many errors in your paragraphs I would not know where to begin. Comas, capitalizations, hyphens, parenthesis. I appreciate you reaching out and I am sure someone with better skills than me can help you.
     
  3. Phatzo

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    hi SanCap,

    you are right about the translation of your name. i did a rough granslation disgarding some of the grammar. the fine parts are always done in ghe end like formating the text.
    i did get some help proposal yes. thank you.
    cheers


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  4. Mazz

    Mazz Moderator
    Staff Member

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    Hey @Phatzo,
    Here is my opinion on part 1. I am at work and can hit part 2 for you in about 30 minutes. Good luck

    The Phat Entertainment Ltd. uses professional tools and a high level of expertise to create high-quality recordings .

    The self-produced and constantly developed hex, octokopter and the DJI Inspire 1 give the opportunity to replace the use of costly helicopters, cranes, or other devices. High-quality movies, TV productions, clips, corresponding advertising material are made from quality images.

    We are providing a camera system which can not only fly, but also make motion pictures and still images which almost eliminate the need for preparation and processing as our camera operator can immediately see the live viedo feed from the aircraft and take the apropriate additional sequences if needed. The raw material is easy to access and downloadable. The multicopter is unique because it can approach places where other aircrafts are not allowed or can not fly due to their size.

    Fast, vibration-free, fine movements, capable of operating in both vertically and horizontal direction, the Cinematographer system provides continuous moving image, thereby effectively solving not only the flying duties, but also allowing you to see the desired content and quality requirements, which can be reacted to immediately. The movements independent of the craft with the focused image remains constantly stable and vibration free. The high-level flight is provided by pilot Martin, while post process of the motion picture or still images are taken care of by our professional team.
     
  5. Phatzo

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    Hi Mazz, thank you. you may change, add or shorten (take out some or parts you think are not needed).
    dennis from australia (forgot his company name) also helped me out and made a brief draft. but its getting better and better. what i would like to know is how dou or anyone here affiliated with this topic and in business would write alitte summary of their company to put up on their site.
    nevertheless thank you very much for the overwhelming amount of help. you guys are great.


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  6. Mazz

    Mazz Moderator
    Staff Member

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    No problem. I believe what you are referring to is what we call a "mission statement." There are a lot of suggestions and tutorials on how to write them online. This is usually an introduction to your business including all of the important details.

    Below I have merely edited for grammar as I saw fit. Hopefully I didn't miss much.

    Part 2


    Martin's passion for R/C started in his early days and since has not left his mind. He was organizing Hip-hop concerts with his brother in the early 2000 years as well as taking on side projects, like introducing "Sign Spinning” and bringing the "The Umbilical Brothers” to Hungary to name a few. He has evolved into a media specialist regarding equipment for recording audio and video. Eventually multi-rotors came in to the picture and he soon started to get a feel for flying and using the "flying" camera platform. Since then, his company has custom built an octocopter, a hexacopter and bought the Inspire 1. This equipment is capable of delivering the quality demanded from his clients. Thinking out of the box, our pilot is tackling every challenge to make the best quality videos for valued customers.
     
  7. Phatzo

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    yes. but i am either searching the wrong places on the net or i am bust plain ehm... stupid. i have / had a hard time writing something good and appieling that when read one says:"hmm... sounds good, where is his number." i have a small showreel i have to shorten up since it is 3 min and a bit, so too long but will post it for opinions. the recordings are all 2015 from janurary when i bought the I1.


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